I wouldn't call myself an angry person. Sure, I'm biased, but I'm pretty happy with life overall. This means I don't complain a whole lot. After all, a person like myself really shouldn't. You know what I do hate, though? You know what I've been itching to complain about for years?
People that complain.
There are different types of complainers, I've found. People that stick to the same topic of whining whenever they decide to let the shit fly from their mouths. They're repeat offenders, if you will.
EXHIBIT A: The Weather Complainers
Donna: Ugh! It's so cold. I can't wait for summer...
(fast forward seven months)
Donna: Ack! It's so hot! I can't wait for cooler weather.
We at the home office of The Barbeardian reside in the midwest. That means our winters are cold and our summers are hot. It's been this way for years and years and will continue to be this way for the rest of our lives. It's not new. It's not even old. It's beyond old. It's expected. In January, Donna's stuck out in the elements (just outside her local Starbucks) with only a light jacket. Maybe she missed the weather report that morning. Maybe she was in a hurry and couldn't find her coat.
In Kansas City, the average high temperature for the month of January is 40 degrees. The average low? 22 degrees.
Yes, it's cold. No, it's not that cold. But Donna's rubbing her hands together and beggin' for July because she, like the weather, is pretty predictable. She does the same thing every January and every cold day of the year. During the summer, she complains about the heat. The sweat runs from her armpits like Niagra Falls and instead of sitting in front of a big box fan or dipping herself into a bathtub filled with ice, all she can think of to do is bitch and moan about something that always has been and always will be.
Bonus video:
People that complain.
There are different types of complainers, I've found. People that stick to the same topic of whining whenever they decide to let the shit fly from their mouths. They're repeat offenders, if you will.
EXHIBIT A: The Weather Complainers
Donna: Ugh! It's so cold. I can't wait for summer...
(fast forward seven months)
Donna: Ack! It's so hot! I can't wait for cooler weather.
We at the home office of The Barbeardian reside in the midwest. That means our winters are cold and our summers are hot. It's been this way for years and years and will continue to be this way for the rest of our lives. It's not new. It's not even old. It's beyond old. It's expected. In January, Donna's stuck out in the elements (just outside her local Starbucks) with only a light jacket. Maybe she missed the weather report that morning. Maybe she was in a hurry and couldn't find her coat.
In Kansas City, the average high temperature for the month of January is 40 degrees. The average low? 22 degrees.
Yes, it's cold. No, it's not that cold. But Donna's rubbing her hands together and beggin' for July because she, like the weather, is pretty predictable. She does the same thing every January and every cold day of the year. During the summer, she complains about the heat. The sweat runs from her armpits like Niagra Falls and instead of sitting in front of a big box fan or dipping herself into a bathtub filled with ice, all she can think of to do is bitch and moan about something that always has been and always will be.
Bonus video:
EXHIBIT B: The Movie Complainers
Rick: Footloose? Why in the hell are they making a remake of Footloose? The first one was good enough!
No, it wasn't, Rick. The first one was shit. It was a stupid plot 27 years ago and it's a stupid plot now. But you know what? I don't really care. I'm not going to go see it because I have something called free will. Rick does too, he just doesn't know it yet.
Chester: I'm tired of all the big-budget garbage Hollywood's coming out with.
People complain about remakes and bad movies so often it makes my skin crawl (not really). Yeah, Michael Bay keeps making shitty Transformers movies and Tim Burton keeps sloshing the same whimsical idea around in everything he does, but I'm not going to get upset about it. I've heard tons of people whine about how Hollywood's gone to shit, but nobody seems to remember that bad movies have always been around. They've changed, sure, but a god-awful movie is a god-awful movie. These people like to stick to independent films (films, not movies) like Elephant and...Elephant's the only one that really comes to mind right now because it's so terrible. I'll use that as an example, actually. Elephant is a 2003 Gus Van Sant movie about a school shooting. It's also not very good. I watched it, I took it in, I realized it wasn't very good, and I moved on. I didn't go on a tirade about how all independent movies are destroying modern cinema because I haven't seen them all, mostly because it would be physically impossible to do so. I didn't even complain after Paranoid Park (another treat from Van Sant), and I had to sit through that ENTIRE FUCKING MOVIE. In one sitting.
So, Rick, don't go see Footloose. Take Chester to your local artsy movie theater and keep your mouths shut.
EXHIBIT C: The Driving Complainers
Biff: That guy's going way too slow. Come on, hurry it up! Should I give him the finger? I won't do that, I'll just pass him really quickly and scowl. That'll teach the bastard.
When you first get your driver's license (hopefully at the ripe age of 16), you realize that other people may not be as good at driving as you are. It's something you have to get used to rather quickly and accept, because if you don't, you'll turn into a raging lunatic that's likely to kill someone with a tire iron at a red light. Or you'll just become an annoying, passive-aggressive piece of shit that makes all your friends hate riding with you.
That's really all I have to say about this example.
The point is, the weather will always be a nuisance, a lot of movies will always be bad, and people who got the lowest possible score on their driving test without failing will always be prowling the streets, looking for someone to annoy.
Get over it and move on. Life's too short to be constantly bitching about things, and even though I just wrote an article full of me bitching, I'd like to think this time, it did more good than harm.
That's really all I have to say about this example.
The point is, the weather will always be a nuisance, a lot of movies will always be bad, and people who got the lowest possible score on their driving test without failing will always be prowling the streets, looking for someone to annoy.
Get over it and move on. Life's too short to be constantly bitching about things, and even though I just wrote an article full of me bitching, I'd like to think this time, it did more good than harm.
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