The Weekly Barbeardian: 12/11/11

This week, the guys talk about The New Girl (much to Jesse's disdain), outrageous UPS shipping fees, and Quentin Tarantino movies. Also, Patrick buys a ukulele (but doesn't play it for the show).

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The Decembeards

It's been a crazy year here at The Barbeardian. This whole thing started as me just documenting my awesome diet and weight loss. Then it grew to including manly stuff and other things I was learning. After moving home, I added Ian on and we started the podcast and became even bigger. As we found more and more of a focus, we added Jesse and have really found our stride - especially in the podcast.

Here's where we need your help. A lot of our success comes from you guys out there. People have been spreading the world and telling friends to read and listen. So, now we need your input on our end-of-the-year wrap up/awards show.

The problem is that once we name something "The Official Barbeardian something-or-other" there really isn't much flexibility there. Like last week, when we named The Baseball Bat the manliest weapon, that probably wouldn't change if you asked us that same question next year. So, we are looking for more things that give us a chance to talk about this year in review as well as putting some things in a hall-of-fame or what have you. We're kicking around ideas and stuff, but since we're here for you, we'd like your input too.

Leave suggestions in the comments here, or post them to our facebook page, or you can even tweet us.

This week the gents talk about their Thanksgivings and take an actual phone call live on air. Also included are discussions of gender reassignment surgery and good, ol' fashioned black market ass enlarging.

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News Sources
More allege botched buttocks surgery by fake doc
WDAF Fox 4 News meteorologist Don Harman passes away

Casino (1995)

If you're gonna have a Main Man Movie, eventually you're gonna need a Scorsese. And right at the top of the list are Goodfellas and Casino. Really, they're the same movie; they just changed names and locations. Who cares, though? Pesci and DeNiro are just so much damn fun to watch.

The Weekly Barbeardian: 11/20/11

This week's topics include Thanksgiving, preparing for a zombie apocalypse (or a hurricane), and the OWS protests.

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News Sources
To Troll A Predator: Vigilante Teens From Chilliwack, BC, Dress As Superheroes, Confront Men
Suspected White House shooter claimed to be modern Jesus Christ
Illinois Superman caper lands thief in prison

Hungarian Apple Strudel

Read this introductory paragraph and see what a giant nerd Jesse is:

I totally rushed the dough-stretching part of this recipe and I feel bad about it. The Hungarian chick that my pastry book talks about can stretch the dough out to like 8 ft. or whatever. The further you stretch it out, the more layers of flaky goodness you get. Well, mine was substantially less, and my excuse was that I had to get to music trivia. I have a music trivia night that I attend every Monday. I actually schedule things around this. Well, as you'll see, the dough-stretching is really fucking hard and it's not the kind of thing you want to be doing inside of a strict time frame. This is ain't no damn chocolate chip cookies, son.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)

May 15th, 1992. My 7th birthday.

It was on that day that I became a man. You could say it was my very own Bar Mitzvah. (Also a 'hello' to our Hebrew readers from Israel. Did you like that Bar Mitzvah line? That one was for you.) There was no ceremony. No breaking of a wine glass under a cloth. (Mazel tov!)

The Weekly Barbeardian: 11/13/11

The guys discuss abortion, pedophiles, and giant cardboard men. Also, Patrick tackles some Ghostbusters trivia.

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Mississippi anti-abortion 'personhood' amendment fails at ballot box
A Life Sentence for Possessing Child Pornography

I watched Oldboy for the first time with fellow barbeardian Patrick about four years ago. Strangely, it was available to rent (borrow?) from our school's library, so one rainy afternoon, he and I sat in his dorm room, popped it in, and watched. The movie begins with the main character holding a man over a rooftop ledge by his tie--this is the point where I realized this rainy afternoon was about to get weird.

The hipster has become one of the most popular subjects for rants these days, so I would like to take an opportunity to put my thoughts down on the subject. I've posted many a status update about these foul, humanoid abominations, but I've never been able to fully develop these ideas. Now that the Barbeardian has given me this medium and a chance to speak to the masses of 17 readers, I give you my rant on the hipster:

The Weekly Barbeardian: 11/06/11

New Barbeardian writer Jesse joins Patrick and Ian for discussions about Kevin Smith's Red State, child abuse in Texas, and the age-old blind/deaf question.

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News Sources
Judge William Adams Won't Be Charged Over Videotaped Beating Of Daughter, Police Say

The Blues Brothers (1980)

The summer of 1980 might be the best summer for comedies in history. Within about one month's time, we had The Blues Brothers, Airplane and Caddyshack. (We also got Wholly Moses! but we won't get into that.) Airplane and Caddyshack are great, no question. But I think the best of all three of those is easily The Blues Brothers.

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky

Riki-Oh is not your garden variety low-budget action film. This movie targets the demographic of immature men that have been desensitized to TV violence from an early age. Less money on acting, story, and editing = more money for fake blood and limbs.

Hey folks.

I gotta get something off my chest. I fell off the wagon for about a month. You see, my best friend's mom came in from out of town and made authentic Mexican food almost every night. That means rice - and lots of it. And tortillas. Beans. Tortas. All kinds of delicious stuff, but stuff that I'm still trying my hardest to stay away from.

And you know what? I regret nothing.

The Weekly Barbeardian: 10/30/11

Patrick and Ian discuss various horror movies at length (including Paranormal Activity 3 and The Human Centipede 2) before moving onto video games and cannibalism.

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Grand Theft Auto 5

 

The Halloween Series (1978-2002)

Last week, I took the liberty of watching every Halloween movie ever made (not including Season of the Witch and the Rob Zombie ones) because, y'know, why the hell not? It was an odd experience, to say the least. There were eight in the original series, spanning from 1978 to 2002, with mostly different writers and directors making each movie. When you watch them all together, you start to realize that only one person really cared about the series as a whole. It wasn't John Carpenter. It certainly wasn't Jamie Lee Curtis, who accepted a small role in the final film only so the producer would stop asking her to appear in the sequels.

It was Donald Pleasence.

Let's do this if we're gonna do this. And why not? After starting the week with Keith David and John Carpenter, we should finish the week the same way. Today at the Barbeardian, we bring you one of the baddest fights ever filmed.

If you've been anywhere near a newsstand or a television lately, you've probably at least heard of Baby Lisa. Being from Kansas City, we here at The Barbeardian have been hearing about this since it happened, weeks before it went mainstream.

For those of you who are somehow unaware, Lisa Irwin is a 10-month-old infant who went missing on the early morning of October 4th. At first, everyone in the news media were calling it a kidnapping, but have not yet ruled out the possibility of infanticide. Lisa's specific details, however tragic, aren't necessary to the point I'm trying to make.

The Weekly Barbeardian: 10/23/11

Even with a slow week Ian and Patrick were still able to drag out a conversation about burlesque shows, horror movies, and Halloween costumes. And finally an update about the safe that will never be opened.

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Bacon Jerky

News Sources
Man Finds Hidden Safe - Vows to Open It
Ohio sheriff: No regrets on killing exotic animals
NY Man Sells Prescription Drugs Out Of His Ice-Cream Truck

 

The Thing (1982)

The Thing.

The goddamned Thing.

The Thing is a lot of things. It can be anything, really. It can be your dog. It can be your wife. It can even be you.