Hungarian Apple Strudel

Read this introductory paragraph and see what a giant nerd Jesse is:

I totally rushed the dough-stretching part of this recipe and I feel bad about it. The Hungarian chick that my pastry book talks about can stretch the dough out to like 8 ft. or whatever. The further you stretch it out, the more layers of flaky goodness you get. Well, mine was substantially less, and my excuse was that I had to get to music trivia. I have a music trivia night that I attend every Monday. I actually schedule things around this. Well, as you'll see, the dough-stretching is really fucking hard and it's not the kind of thing you want to be doing inside of a strict time frame. This is ain't no damn chocolate chip cookies, son.

Hey folks.

I gotta get something off my chest. I fell off the wagon for about a month. You see, my best friend's mom came in from out of town and made authentic Mexican food almost every night. That means rice - and lots of it. And tortillas. Beans. Tortas. All kinds of delicious stuff, but stuff that I'm still trying my hardest to stay away from.

And you know what? I regret nothing.

Just a small update here, I guess. I'm down almost 30 lbs. since starting all this. This means I've needed to find new clothes that don't make me look like I'm wearing a tent. I'm down a shirt size, and the pants I bought are 4 inches smaller in the waist than what I was wearing. The best part is, I'm losing weight eating stuff like this:

Double cheeseburger with pepper jack, 4 slices of bacon,
and all-natural peanut butter melting down over it all.

People still have a hard time believing me when I tell them this is how I eat on an almost constant basis. I mean, I also eat a lot of broccoli, spinach salads, and green beans. But the main part of my diet are cheeseburgers and omelets filled with cheese and caramelized onions and mushrooms. Everything is always cooked in butter.

Stay tuned the rest of the week. Tomorrow brings us a new Fists of Friday, and I guarantee it will be the craziest thing you've seen in a long time. On Sunday we'll have a new Weekly Barbeardian episode. Thanks for all those that have listened and given feedback. Ian and I might be taking the show on a field trip either this week or next, so look forward to that. Also, we're answering questions on air, so if you have anything to ask, or just want to tell us, shoot an email over to barbeardian (at) gmail.com

MEGAPOST

Sorry Barbeardians, I've been away for awhile.

You see, Mrs. Barbeardian decided she wanted be with another caveman, but at the same time, told me she loved my beard and didn't want me to leave the cave we had together. So, I kindof fell off the grid for a while and into a bottle. Don Draper style.

Anyway, TDB is back with a vengeance. I'd thought I'd give you guys a big post to make up for the time gone. Let's kick it off with a Main Man Movie Monday Tuesday.

 

Mac and Me

Many of you might not have seen the irresponsible number of wings I bought the other night. Here they are, in case you missed it:

I had these illusions of grandeur thinking I could at least take down half. But since I've changed up my habits, I don't really eat as much. Ergo, my stomach wasn't cooperating with me and wouldn't let me get through more than eight.

BurgerTime

I bought a bunch of beef last week. I'm working on making all different kinds of burgers. Here, I show you two of them.

Besides steak, burgers are pretty much the definition of caveman cooking. Meat ground up with the fat, thrown on a skillet until the outside is all caramelized. From there, it's all vanity.

Stop. Ham time.

Bought a ham a couple weeks ago on sale.

Lemme tell you something: ham is a glorious thing. Versitile, salty, sweet, fatty - everything you want. There isn't much it can't go in or with or on top of, or just chunk ripped off the bone. And another thing, ham steaks? Like a T-Bone, can be eaten for every meal. Not many foods can you say that about, and the ones you can, most likely came from a pig.